Hermione Granger: The Deranged Ranger
by sLeEpY-sHeEp2
Summary: Hermione's become a ranger. Need I say more?


Hermione Granger: The Deranged Ranger 

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Ok…this is humor. Review and tell me if it's okay funny cause I don't think I'm funny enough!

**Summary: What if Hermione Granger became a ranger after Hogwarts and suddenly, she accidentally hit herself with a curse that made her deranged. A bit serious at first! I invented the park so don't get mad!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hermione. Only her deranged version. I own Arnest Park and Abigail. **

Chapter One-Signing Up for the Job 

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Hermione walked onto a front porch of a house. She didn't believe it was an office. She pushed open the door and saw a row of chairs and single desk with a woman behind it.

" Welcome to Arnest Park. I'm Abigail. Nice morning, isn't it?" the woman asked with a Scottish accent. Hermione nodded.

"Aye, you are the girl who signed up for a ranger job?" Abigail asked, pulling out a sheaf of coloured papers. Hermione nodded again.

Abigail handed the papers to Hermione. "Fill these in and I'll get the head ranger of the park." Hermione took them and Abigail disappeared behind a blue curtain behind the desk.

"Name…Hermione Granger…age…" Hermione mumbled, starting to answer the papers.

In a few minutes, she finished answering and she looked up, only to see a fat man in a khaki suit wearing a hat.

"So…Hermione Granger, is it?" he asked with a Scottish accent just like Abigail. He pronounced Hermione as her-moi-nee.

Hermione nodded. "Well, give 'em here!" Hermione gave him the papers and he started muttering as he read them.

"Well…you got the job. You'll be stationed up there at peak number two." He said after reading. He got a plastic bag and shoved a map and hiking boots in her hands.

"These are my uniforms?" Hermione asked, raising the bag.

"Yep. Report here tomorrow 6 am sharp and bring your necessities cause you'll stay here everyday. I'll have another ranger help you to the station house." he said. "Now get out of here. I got another one waiting." He shooed her away.

Hermione arrived at Arnest Park at quarter to 6 and she sat down patiently on a chair.

"Oh, you're here. Good. Boss Man likes early ones." Abigail said when she spotted Hermione. She turned to the curtain and yelled, "Mr. Faheelyyyyy!" the fat man appeared with another ranger.

"Hermione. This is Andrew. He'll help you up to peak number 2. Now get out of my sight!" Faheely snapped. He disappeared behind the curtain again.

Andrew faced Hermione. "You're lucky you're assigned to peak 2. I'd pity you if you were in peak 9. It's bloody high up there. And cold!" he said. He got Hermione's necessities and put them on a rack on a mountain trekking thing. He got on and Hermione followed.

Ten minutes later, they were up at peak 2. the station house had a fireplace in it and some comfortable couches with a desk on a side of the office. There was also a door leading to a bedroom and another to a bathroom.

"What you do here is that you guide tourists to where they want to go. Give them maps and assign them some stuff and usually, they pay you. Well, gotta go to peak 3! If you need anything, just ride on over!" Andrew said. He got on his trekking thing and zoomed off.

Hermione sighed and lit the fireplace. She sat in her desk chair and started looking at sheets of paper. She jumped when somebody knocked on the door.

"Yes, may I help you?" she asked as a woman followed by a teen came in with a picnic basket.

"Um, can I buy a map? I lost mine." She said. Hermione grabbed one from a drawer and handed it to the woman.

"Here. Have a nice visit in Arnest!" Hermione chirped out.

"What a loser!" the teenager whispered to her mother. The woman gave the teen a look and handed Hermione some money.

"Thanks!" the woman said and left. Hermione started looking around. She spotted her wand sticking out of her duffel bag.

"Better hide that. Don't want anyone to suspect me." she muttered to herself and hid it in a trunk beside her desk.

**A/N:  I'm sorry! I know it's very short but it'll get better later!!! Thank you! R&R! Love you all! **

**~*Kay-Cee*~ O_o**


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